Zman's Blog

Question 2

Sometimes I feel like I'm a Grendel. The Grendel's of this world are those who have been picked on, teased, and shoved into the back corner of our world with little respect given to them. Grendel's build up tension until one day they snap. Look at history and you will find examples of there people. They are the murderers, the psycho-killers. It all starts with the person not feeling included in the group, and outcast of society. Those people become angry with life and start to feel hatred toward people. Grendel's are the kids at school who are thrown into trash cans day after day, or the kid who gets made fun of for being older, smarter, or even those who are good. Personally as a kid, I was picked on, an outcast at SCS. I was always left out or made fun of. I would come home angry when I personally did not want to feel angry. I began to hate others, look at them as just another person who would find something to laugh at me about. I believe that this is the reason I'm an introvert. I don't like interactions with others and most importantly, I don't let anyone close enough to me. Many people at SCS don't really know me for who I am. I some times feel pressured to look a certain way and act a certain way just so that I don't get picked on. To this day I remember one kid who picked on me probably the most. When we had a meeting with him, his dad, and my dad, we asked him why he hated me so much and he said, "Because he's good". I feel like the Grendel's are not those people who fell into peer pressure but those who stay out of it. They are out of the social norm. They are those who strive to do good things and in return get picked on for it. My only strength that keeps me from completely breaking down some days is my family and knowing that some day I'll be able to look back at them and say, "What a bunch of losers they were". My only other strength I find, is in God. God has always been there, especially in my deep and dark times. I hope to continue to work hard, make myself to be who I know I can be, and forget about the things that others have said. One of my favorite sayings that has always given me some encouragement is, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me".